Old habits are hard to break! Comparing myself to others has been something I have struggled with for as long as I can remember. In the last few years I have become more aware of it, and how truly destructive it can be. While I recognize fully that it is a waste of time to envy others IF it means that feelings of jealousy or resentment surface, I enjoy being surrounded by people that inspire me and motivate me to do more and be more. It is such a fine line!
Lately, I have been working really hard on Me. It's pretty common this time of year to take a long hard look in the mirror and try to be realistic about what is working and what is not. People make all sorts of sweeping declarations and grand plans for the year ahead, they write list after list of goals. I am usually one of those people.
For me it can be hard when my favorite time of the year, Christmas, ends and the New Year begins and four days later my birthday arrives. It seems doubly as intense to make resolutions for the year ahead and, at the same time, reflect on the fact that I am a year older (and hopefully wiser). It often has me wondering.....Am I a better person then I was a year ago? Am I happier then I was a year ago? Am I making the absolute most of every day, every moment?
Right now, I am doing all that I can to focus on today, without putting real pressure or expectations on tomorrow. Small steps seem more manageable!
I have procrastinated on making an official list for the new year. Setting detailed goals seems to be more then I can handle! So, a month and a day late.....I give you my 'unofficial' list of goals for 2012, in very broad and non specific terms and in no particular order:
1. Regain physical and mental strength, through yoga and running.
2. Grow intellectually, by reading more and watching less.
3. Focus my love and affection, on my family and close friends.
4. Demonstrate courage, by expressing my creative point of view.
5. Find peace and quiet my mind, by learning and embracing true patience.
Overall, the most important thing is to let go of the fear that I may fail at one or all of these goals, or that the person reading these might have accomplished them all already. Just writing these down and sharing them means that I am overcoming a fear of judgement, a step in the right direction........already making progress!