No matter my determination, getting strong again after a long time of weakness can feel impossible! Whether its my legs shaking in a yoga pose or my heart beating in my throat during a run, my body is screaming SLOW DOWN!
Twenty minutes into yoga yesterday I was beaming with pride. I could tell that I had made progress and felt pleased my new found strength and flexibility. Twenty minutes later I felt defeated following a less then stellar balancing series. Why can't I focus and relax? Twenty minutes after that I was smiling from ear to ear when the teacher said "beautiful pose stephanie". What a roller coaster!
On my runs it is much the same. I begin energized and full of hope. The breeze whips around the side of the park and I enjoy the fresh air. At the turn I climb the first big hill and my legs quickly slow as I struggle. Headed up the other side I am reinvigorated, encouraged that I have settled into the run. Then comes the longer bigger hill and once again I'm hating myself. How in the hell did I run a marathon and what has happened to my body?
Every day that I work out I am thankful. I ALWAYS feel better after. It is those in between ups and downs that kind of suck right now, those Emotional Intervals. I question my body, my strength, my ability. But then.....I overcome that doubt and fear of failure and celebrate the accomplishment. It feels good and right, so I will keep going.