Trying to be courageous this week! Our home visit and final interview for the Homestudy happens this Thursday. No matter how kind our Social Worker may seem or how lovely I believe our home to be......I can not help to feel riddled with worry and angst. What if we fail?
It is shocking to recognize that the ability to expand your family can lie in the hands of a complete stranger, that comes into your home and decides if you are able to parent and worthy of a child. As hard as I know it will be to remain patient and search for a match once we are approved, these initial steps seem more difficult. It is impossible to avoid some self doubt and insecurity when you are being criticized and judged!
This past weekend I spent hours (and hours and hours) looking through ALL of our photos. I have to select the pictures that tell the story of our life. I have to choose the images that will be the most inspiring and touching, the ones that will magically instill love and trust in a prospective birth parent. Which will make them happy and curious to know more about us, which will offend them and make them feel sadness because of their own experiences in life? So many things to consider.........
For now, it is all about one step at a time. This week, I will clean. Next week, I will worry about the rest. Thanks for listening!