BE

I joined a new studio a few weeks back and have been challenging my body to remember how to be strong.

It's been over a year since I have done any activity regularly and my practice shows it.  I am insecure in my poses, tight in some and wobbly in others.  But I am determined.

For a long while I have focused all energy on the girls.  My days are spent being a mom with few exceptions.

Just like any new relationship, I have been swept up........focusing on my sweet new love and caring little for myself.  Sometimes when you come out of the fog of a new romance you face a harsh reality.  What the hell happened to my body?

Somehow, while I was busy with other things, my body got soft and (worse!) weak.  Just because I am your typical exhausted mom does not mean that I have to look like one.

Two weeks into classes, I am beginning to see progress.  I wake at 530 twice a week to take morning classes and that is an ABSOLUTE miracle.  Two classes on the weekend and running when my knee cooperates- this is the current plan.  Wish me luck!

To motivate continued success I purchased this. Now I need to look the part.  Just discovered Solow at Shopbop.  Here are my picks......Namaste.

image: Free People

Stillness

Imagine a spinning top. Stillness is like a perfectly centered top, spinning so fast it appears motionless. It appears this way not because it isn't moving but because it's spinning at full speed.

Stillness is not the absence or negation of energy, life, or movement. Stillness is dynamic. It is unconflicted movement, life in harmony with itself, skill in action. It can be experienced whenever there is total, uninhibited, unconflicted participation in the moment you are in- when you are wholeheartedly present with whatever you are doing.

For most of us, however most of the time, our lives do not resemble a perfectly centered top spinning so fast it appears motionlesss. Our lives are more like a top in a somewhat wild, erratic, and chaotic spin. We know we're alive because at least we're still spinning, but we are not quite perfectly centered, and we are not spinning anywhere near full speed. We don't have as much energy as we'd like, we are not experiencing as much aliveness as we might, nor are we experiencing the peace of stillness or the joy of being.

Yoga is a way of moving into stillness in order to experience the truth of who you are.

I have been taking yoga classes now since the beginning of the year. For me, it brings such satisfaction to be in an environment where I am forced to listen to my body instead of my brain. The studio feels like a comforting place, 90 minutes that are all my own.

I have a deep desire for stillness and clarity in my life! I am determined to feel healthy and strong again! In addition to the yoga and running, I decided to detox. (Thank you Gwyneth Paltrow for the inspiration......her Bazaar shoot is INSANE!)

I am four days into a two week cleanse. I take two vegetable capsules twice a day and avoid alcohol, caffeine, dairy and sugar. So far, the thing that I have noticed the most is that I understand exactly what I am hungry for. I have been drinking greens and wheatgrass, whey protein shakes with blueberries and flax, coconut water, and dandelion root tea. I have been eating mostly vegetables with some fruit and lean protein. It's an adjustment, but it feels good and right!

Any advice for a first timer?

image: Yoga Journal of a Not-Very-Calm-Character

text: The Spirit and Practice of Moving Into Stillness, by Erich Schiffmann